26 January 2013

Tips for Your Interview With a Celebrity

Hiking here? Expect a fly-by from a LAPD chopper

Twice now I've interviewed to work for a celebrity, and I've learned a few things. Maybe you'd like some pointers for the next time you interview for a job working for a celebrity?

Be prepared to sign contracts before you even start talking about the job. For example, in preparation for my first interview with a celeb, I signed a stack of NDAs and vowed I would never speak about the movie star working next door. Nevermind the fact I never met the movie star next door nor would I ever. But, ya know, oaths of silence are the norm 'round these parts.

Be on time and ready to wait. The unofficial motto of the entertainment industry is "Hurry Up And Wait." It's a statement so heavy with truth, it's likely to be found on the backside of the world famous Hollywood sign.

While you're waiting, look pretty and KEEP YOUR PHONE STOWED AWAY. Why? Odds you're being filmed while you're waiting, especially if said interview is taking place in the celeb's home. Now is not the time to upload a photo of your potential new boss' coffin coffee table (true story!).

Don't expect a handshake. Or eye contact. Or a smile. A lot of celebs ain't into reaching out and touching the common folk. For example, on my last interview, I rose to greet the celeb and was immediately told, "Don't get up." Whatevs. I prefer to sit anyway.

Do expect some trash talk. But don't you dare be the one dishing it. This is a tough town, and people are amazingly candid with their opinions--positive and negative--of others. Your celeb may talk a little smack about your former employer; you, however, should just smile and nod. That's what I did, and it worked like a charm.

Whatever you do, remember the universe revolves around them.

Now, go get 'em! And please report back to me with stories. Goodness knows I've got them in spades.

08 January 2013

Home for the Holidays (Whatever That Means)

The view at 10,000+ feet somewhere over Riverside County

The only annual holiday tradition I've managed to create and honor as an adult is traveling back to my parents' house for Christmas every December. My tradition is not unique. No, it appears I share this tradition with loads of other singletons. I see them waiting in the security line at LAX or stranded in Terminal D trying to balance Christmas gifts, laptops and giant coffee served in red cups.

What I've come to wonder is if these other singletons share my holiday experience--you know, after the ritual of traveling cross-country is complete. Do they also find their childhood bedroom has become a storage room / gift-wrapping station / gym / playroom for Princess the puppy? Do they--usually chatty with most any living being--find it hard to formulate conversation with childhood friends, now married and covered in the paraphernalia of children? Do they have an unusual desire for a large Manhattan with each and every meal?

Maybe it's just me.

At any rate, the holidays were lovely and rushed and full of dear ones. It was good to get back to Los Angeles with it's wild and apocalyptic sunsets. In LA, I feel a bit more myself, which is such a contradiction because if you saw me you'd never think I came from this particular city. I probably look way more Tulsa than LA.