Tips for Your Interview With a Celebrity

Hiking here? Expect a fly-by from a LAPD chopper

Twice now I've interviewed to work for a celebrity, and I've learned a few things. Maybe you'd like some pointers for the next time you interview for a job working for a celebrity?

Be prepared to sign contracts before you even start talking about the job. For example, in preparation for my first interview with a celeb, I signed a stack of NDAs and vowed I would never speak about the movie star working next door. Nevermind the fact I never met the movie star next door nor would I ever. But, ya know, oaths of silence are the norm 'round these parts.

Be on time and ready to wait. The unofficial motto of the entertainment industry is "Hurry Up And Wait." It's a statement so heavy with truth, it's likely to be found on the backside of the world famous Hollywood sign.

While you're waiting, look pretty and KEEP YOUR PHONE STOWED AWAY. Why? Odds you're being filmed while you're waiting, especially if said interview is taking place in the celeb's home. Now is not the time to upload a photo of your potential new boss' coffin coffee table (true story!).

Don't expect a handshake. Or eye contact. Or a smile. A lot of celebs ain't into reaching out and touching the common folk. For example, on my last interview, I rose to greet the celeb and was immediately told, "Don't get up." Whatevs. I prefer to sit anyway.

Do expect some trash talk. But don't you dare be the one dishing it. This is a tough town, and people are amazingly candid with their opinions--positive and negative--of others. Your celeb may talk a little smack about your former employer; you, however, should just smile and nod. That's what I did, and it worked like a charm.

Whatever you do, remember the universe revolves around them.

Now, go get 'em! And please report back to me with stories. Goodness knows I've got them in spades.

Truth

I started a new job yesterday. And, as you might expect, it's brought up a whole host of questions. My last job started with much potential and hope, yet it ended in a cul-de-sac. I made good friends and learned that, despite my prior desires, I do not want to spend the rest of my days as a copywriter. So that was a much-needed experience.

Back to the new gig. The people are so incredibly lovely. I can't imagine my good fortune at working with such smart and kind people, including my boss. On paper, my boss really is all you could want for a boss. I say on paper because I hardly know my line-manager at this point. Oh, sure, I know things like children's names and after-work plans. I know frequent flier numbers and credit card details. I know that we drive the same car and share the exact same birthday (odd). But that's about it. How my boss reacts to stress? Not sure yet. To my mistakes? Thankfully I have to learn that one in the coming days. To disappointment? Nada. So it's a paper trail and a handful of conversations I have to go on. So far, my boss seems to be Wonderboss.

May I break for a short disclaimer? You won't mind, I hope. I've no idea of this blog's readership. I hope to increase it...maybe. But for now, it's a purely personal space, one that is admittedly self-indulgent. I'm not aiming to meet deadlines so that I can share the latest finds from the glorious Internet; I'm just writing. And I hope now that I'm in this new job--in this new lifestyle--I'll write here more frequently. So, with that in mind, I'm keeping some things very vague. I'd be devastated to air someone else's personal struggle here.

Anyhoo, the weeks leading up to my first day, I had a few nightmares about my new job. The most common issue my sleeping mind struggled over was how cool I am. Seriously. You'd think my mind--sleeping or awake--could tackle more pressing issues, but that's what bothered me. To many, my boss is ultra "cool," and this intimidated me. I could go into detail, but I'll just say when I got access to Wonderboss' rolodex, all my suspicions were confirmed: Wonderboss is the ultimate tastemaker for some, the supreme last word on matters of music for others, and a bit of an idol for a handful. I, on the other hand, am the walking antithesis of Wonderboss.

WB--may I call my boss that?--is a grounded person. Case in point, upon my arrival at the office yesterday, I was given WB's desk...by WB. Where did WB sit? On the desk adjacent to mine because, you guessed it, I was sitting in WB's chair. WB is proud to drive an older Honda Civic. WB flies coach. WB is a hands-on parent. All of these things, WB does with a manner of humility.

I, on the other hand, am wrestling with humility. And it is Wonderboss who has unknowingly pointed that out.

You see, I am sometimes ashamed when I pull up to a valet stand in my 2002 Honda Civic. I blush when people figure out I am 33 and not married/not a parent/not even in a blasted relationship. I want to rush through the conversation when people ask me what I do for a living. Somehow, I've become embarrassed of my life. Yet I chose, and continue to make choices, to live this life. I chose to stay in LA, which led to forgoing a job writing for someone else, which led to taking an executive assistant job with Wonderboss. I asked for this. So why am I blushing and coveting Audis?

In the end, I can only answer by acknowledging I have put my faith in the backseat. Maybe something else drives you; for me, faith in God is my true north. And I can assure you that God doesn't care one bit about the car I drive or what my title is.

We're all struggling to fit in our own skin, I suppose. Some just hide it better than others.

Photo is from the album cover, "All Is Wild, All Is Silent" by the band Balmorhea.

Good Music is Hard to Come By Sometimes.

I've been listening to this album since last week. I tend to wear albums out, playing them constantly in my room, at work and in the car until I know them inside and out. Do other people do that? Or maybe it's just me. Actually, it's probably just me. I mean, who else refers to music as an album?

Each time I listen to "You Were Never There" I feel like hopping on a plane to Mexico City, which I am planning to do in July. Hooray!

Album is by Diego Garcia.

Top 5

A friend recently asked me to list my top 5 can't-live-without albums for a project. Have you ever tried to pick just 5 albums that you couldn't live without? It's hard. Really hard. Especially when you love music as much as I do.

1. Billie Holiday – Greatest Hits (Sony). Sure her vocal range was limited compared to other powerhouse female vocalists, but Billie had the ability to possesses a song in such a way that I swear she lived it. She tailored melodies to suit her—lagging behind the beat just a bit and using inflection to transform the stalest lyric into a scrumptious morsel. This album is my favorite collection simply for the fact that it includes “The Very Thought of You”, a simple and beautiful representation of her talent.

2. Miles Davis – Kind of Blue. Most likely, deserted islands come standard with this classic album. It is an intimate body of work, perhaps due to the fact it was not a rehearsed body of work. It comes alive, somehow, each time I play it. And it always sounds different, as though Miles and his band (John Coltrane!) are jamming together inside my stereo for my own personal enjoyment.

3. Van Morrison – Moondance. The first time I went to Belfast, I half expected to be asked to recite the lyrics to this album before being granted entry into a pub. The stories woven through this album are ingrained in me: I want to be the object of affection documented in ‘Crazy Love’; I hear the fog horn he sings about on ‘Into the Mystic’; I feel the rain pounding down on the county fair in ‘And It Stoned Me’.

4. Foy Vance – Hope. Foy tells stories through his songs the way Leonard Cohen tells a story—so detailed and personal they seem more like personal memories than stories. My favorite track is ‘Indiscriminate Act of Kindness’. Much the way I can see the room Leonard sings about in ‘Chelsea Hotel’, I see the characters Foy creates in this ultimately uplifting song. And that voice! This guy can sing.

5. The Beatles – Rubber Soul. My two favorite Beatles songs live on this album: Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown) and Girl. I’ll never tire of hearing John Lennon sigh in the chorus.

What are your top 5 albums?

I Heart These Posters, and U Will 2.

I stumbled across The Small Stakes site a while back and since then I've been dreaming about covering my walls with these flippin' gorgeous posters.





The Small Stakes lives here: http://thesmallstakes.com/gallery.php?page=1#

Soundtrack to 08.

Putting it mildly, 2008 was not especially kind to me. Long spells of no work and serious medical issues with my younger sister made '08 a year I'd like to blot out and do over again. It wasn't all bad, mind you, because there were lessons learned and sweet moments that only come with walks through a valley.

Here's my collection of songs I kept on repeat during various seasons of this past year. Most of them were released a long while ago and very few, if any, would mark me as a hip or trendy sort of person. But I like them and that's all that matters.

Blue Ridge Mountains - Fleet Foxes
I Adore You - Melpo Mene
I Cried Like a Silly Boy - Devotchka
Lovers in Japan / Reign of Love - Coldplay
Sarah - Ray LaMontagne
Hickory Wind - Gram Parsons
Hospital Beds - Cold War Kids
Sex on Fire - Kings of Leon
Many Shades of Black - The Raconteurs
Tupelo Honey - Van Morrison
Starlight - Muse
Satellite of Love - Lou Reed
Feathers and Down - The Cardigans
La Vie en Rose - Edith Piaf
Shot to the Stars - Whitley

Taking Back My Cardigans

If you're anything like me, your life is set to music. The album you listened to everyday in the car on the way to your first job. The song that played incessantly on the radio during the summer between your sophomore and junior years at university. The break-up song, the make-up song, and on and on they go.

A couple of years ago I got into The Cardigans. Not that poppy song from Romeo and Juliet, but one of their albums in particular called Long Gone Before Daylight. I noticed a song title called "And Then You Kissed Me" on a friend's iTunes playlist at work and was intrigued.

The album, I found out, was poetic, a bit dark and emotionally raw. It was as if I was reading diary entries written by a more articulate version of me. I loved it and played it constantly. And then a boy was rather unkind to me. The album became my refuge. I would plug in my iPod and walk up and down the beach in Santa Monica after work, listening to it again and again. This album was what I wanted to say to this particular boy, but couldn't quite muster up the nerve without turning red in the face and stammering. So I just listened to the album until I was ready to shake the dust off my sandals and move on.

Every so often since that time, one of the songs would appear in my shuffle list. Sometimes I fast-forwarded, sometimes I didn't. But I couldn't listen to any of these songs without going right back there to that foggy time. About a month ago, however, I decided enough was enough. That boy was a punk and who was he to mar this beautiful collection of songs I had come to treasure?

So I took back my beloved Cardigans CD. Now I listen to it often and form new memories with each song: Autumn drives in the mountains, finding my courage again and locking myself in my sister's old room to write every night.

And let me just say, this album is too freaking good to let a few not-so-great memories ruin it. If you haven't listened to it yet, here is my shameless plug on behalf of this group of Swedes. Get it. Listen to it. I think you'll like it.

What to look for in the record store:

If You Have to Spend 5 Hours on a Runway

Here is what I saw for 3 of the 5 hours I sat on a runway at Boston Logan Airport:



Now, if you have to be confined to a teeny tiny airplane seat on row 22 for 5 hours due to inclement weather, it is best that that name on the plane is JetBlue. If you are travelling with your 20 year-old brother, you must ensure that the name on that plane is JetBlue. Why? DirecTV. Think: 4 channels of ESPN, Bravo, 3 music channels, The Food Network, and some other channels I clicked thru by using the handy dandy control panel on my armrest.

My brother and I travelled to Washington, D.C. on Sunday of last week to see Coldplay perform for exactly 86 minutes before a 4-minute encore that included a shower of colorful paper confetti. The next morning we arose at 5 a.m. to catch a JetBlue flight to Boston to see Coldplay play another 86 minutes before a 4-minute encore that included a shower of colorful paper confetti. Now before you get any grand ideas about the two of us being crazed fans that follow the tour bus across the country, please note that a) we aren't rich people and b) the original Washington, D.C. date was cancelled only to be rescheduled after we decided to see them in Boston instead. Both sets of tickets were valid and both shows would be back-to-back. We thought, why tha heck not.

Back to JetBlue.

So, on the way back to D.C. from Boston, our flight was delayed for 30 minutes due to thunderstorms. Then the flight was delayed to 90 minutes because of incredible thunderstorms. Then a 3-hour delay and so on and so forth. To be perfectly honest those hours kind of passed me by in a blur of TV that included: "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List" episodes, Tyler Florence showing off his perfectly roasted pork, U2 rocking out in Harlem back in the 80's and endless reports of Brett Favre joining the ranks of the NY Jets. It was only when I noticed that I couldn't feel my tailbone that I started to get antsy about taking off. And as for my brother, he was OK once he finished ranting about never flying again and swearing to change the weather patterns of the entire East Coast.

It seems pretty obvious that flying will either become more and more like taking a Greyhound or it will become a privilege only the uber wealthy enjoy - at least that's what Anderson Cooper says. I think he places most of the blame on fuel prices, but nevertheless I think passengers would put up with the $4 diet cokes, $12 boxes of crackers and cramped leg quarters if each passenger could possess the power of flipping through 30 channels of entertainment. While you can't do anything about the weather grounding your flight and you certainly can't stop chatty Cathy from loudly talking on her mobile phone while reclining her chair in your lap, you sure can exercise a wee bit of control over the small screen centered on the back of the seat in front of you.

And a message to Mr. Chris Martin and gang, I'd like to request that maybe you shake up the set lists a bit. D.C. and Boston were the.exact.same.show. With the exception of one song. And the lead-singer-to-crowd banter? The same for both shows. No joke.

But it was a good time - if only for the chance to get reacquainted with my brother after many years of living in different cities.