27 March 2012

The Big E

Well, I finally did it. I signed up for a paid online dating service. I've been on it for just over a week now, and--well, where do I even begin? Maybe you're wondering what prompted me to sign up at this stage of the game, so I'll start my funny tale there.

Being single is expensive and, at times, a little scary. You either have a tiny studio and live on your own, or you find a roommate so you can afford a place that actually has a kitchen and maybe a scrap of outdoor space. And then there's the fear factor: nary a single woman hasn't faced the fear of slipping in the shower, bonking her head on the floor--which of course would render her unable to move--only to be found weeks later by a landlord looking for their rent check. So, yes, you're right. My decision to sign up for The Big E was motivated in large part by my desire to have a kitchen of my very own and a night watchman.

Don't get me wrong; I have a wonderful roommate and a lovely kitchen at the moment, but all that concerns my beloved apartment is completely and utterly temporary. I am hesitant to hang anything on the walls because I know I will be moving at some point. I'm eager to have a bit more permanence in my life. I'd also like to consistently share memories with one person, instead of a smattering of friends spread all over the place.

All of this leads me to my little online profile and the seemingly desultory matches that have come my way. Already, just a week into it, I hate it. I suspected I wouldn't enjoy meeting people out of a catalog, and maybe this prejudice is why I dislike it so. Everything about the process goes against the grain of what makes me--me. Creating a slideshow of photos of yourself (Look! This one shows you how much fun I can be! And this one with the baby shows you what a natural I am with kids!) and writing brief blurbs of copy about your ideal match is downright embarrassing for me. And don't even get me started on the back-and-forth communication. It's so contrived and awkward and superficial, which is exactly what it should be.

But I've gone to enough singles mixers and signed up for countless volunteer activities in hopes of expanding my network only to find I've collected more girl friends. And as far as the men in my life, well it's safe to say I am firmly planted in the Friend Zone. Which is well and good and all. But guys don't seem to want to marry their friends these days.

So, I'm online and looking for love. It takes time, so I expect it to be a bit of a battle..err, I mean journey. In the meantime, I'm finding loads of material to share. Just wait until I tell you about S.S. Elisabeth.