14 April 2012
A Reminder of What Hasn't Happened Yet
I promise I'm not one of those people who always thinks about relationships. That disclaimer is necessary because 5 days ago I went to a seminar organized by my church on the subjects of being single and dating. I know what you're thinking. But I'm definitely not one of those people, I promise. The seminar was fine and all, but it seemed the whole purpose of being there--at least for the people sitting around me--was to learn the shortcuts and tricks to getting a spouse. At one point, when a witty and fast-talking lady co-moderating the evening spoke about meeting her husband, I wanted to stand up and shout: "What if THIS is our final destination? What if being single is what we're meant to do?"
Marriage seems to be a great thing for many people, and I'd like to get married. But if I don't, life will not crumble around me like the ash of a cigarette. There is too much to do, too many things to see, too many people to know for me to think one path is all there is for me. Plus, mathematically speaking the odds aren't so hot. 20% of the people in that room were men. And apparently all of those men are considered deadbeats or playboys. The Atlantic Monthly published an interesting article recently that basically said:
"Recent years have seen an explosion of male joblessness and a steep decline in men’s life prospects that have disrupted the “romantic market” in ways that narrow a marriage-minded woman’s options: increasingly, her choice is between deadbeats (whose numbers are rising) and playboys (whose power is growing). But this strange state of affairs also presents an opportunity: as the economy evolves, it’s time to embrace new ideas about romance and family—and to acknowledge the end of “traditional” marriage as society’s highest ideal."
So, you see, the odds really are not looking good for all the single ladies to have a man put a ring on it. And that's OK.
In large part, I signed up for The Big E so I could tell people I'd given Internet dating the ol' college try and they stop pestering me about doing more to get hitched. I love life. I make it a point to believe wherever I am is the best place to be, and that has made all the difference in the world.
There are so many areas of our lives that could use this bit of love--taking whatever piece of real estate life has passed down and saying, THIS is mine, and I am going to make it fabulous. Instead of letting absence serve as a reminder of what hasn't happened yet, I'm focusing on what has been accomplished and daydreaming about the wide open spaces left for me to conquer.